Every woman will eventually go through menopause. We all know about the change of life but in reality, we really don’t know anything. It is like the most taboo subject to talk about. It literally amazes me how open people are to so many things that society deems as acceptable these days. But menopause is one of those forbidden subjects that we throw into the dark abyss, sweep under the rug and pretend doesn’t exist. I am going to step out of the quiet land of rainbows and butterflies and be open to discuss all the dirty little secrets that everybody tries to hide. While I have not yet reached menopause, I have many years of experience in perimenopause. From my own through process, menopause can only get better from here. At least I hope so.
I have days where I feel normal. Well, it’s probably more like my own form of normal. And there are days where I feel like I am having an out of body experience watching the spawn of Satan dictate my every thought and move. I can’t remember exactly when my doctor told me I was in perimenopause, but it seems like I have been stuck in this miserable hell for well over a decade. I started my first menstrual cycle when I was in the fifth grade. It was quite embarrassing since I had no clue what was happening to me. I had two children, one at 19 and one at 22. After my second child, I was irregular, began having heavy flows and stayed in extreme pain. After several doctor and ER visits, I was finally referred to a specialist who determined that I had endometriosis. I would not wish that on my worst enemy. I had two surgeries to attempt to get rid of this horrible disease, but it was relentless and to no avail, I still experience a majority of the symptoms. Even though my hormones are changing and my cycles are getting fewer and fewer. So, I have the added pleasure of those symptoms mixed in with all the perimenopausal fun.
For years I thought menopause was just some hormonal stuff causing mood swings, some hot flashes, night sweats and getting rid of the dreaded monthly visitor. You hear stories about so and so’s mama freaking out on the family and they make light of the situation saying she’s just going through the change. But the change is so much more than that. There is ridiculous anxiety, weight gain or weight loss, depletion of all energy, insomnia or disturbances in sleep, dizziness, brain fog, heart palpitations, dizziness, being foggy headed. And so much more that I may not have personally experienced, at least not yet.
Try to have patience and give grace to those who are going through any and every stage of menopause. This is nothing that we have asked for. There is not much we can do but roll with the changes and mood swings as our hormones bounce all over the place. We may not talk about what we are going through, but it would be nice to know that we can, and others would understand and not make us feel worse about ourselves during this transition.
Anybody that is willing to openly talk about their experiences, I welcome you with open ears. This is a real struggle for some people, me included. And any insight, advise, inspiration is appreciated. I’m sure not everyone has a bad experience with menopause, but I believe many of us silently struggle through this phase of our lives and even more of us navigate through it all alone. Because if you don’t experience this for yourself, you don’t understand. Hugs to all of us going through this hell…